Three Hundred Big Boys

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Three Hundred Big Boys
Mushu throwing up like a champion
episode no. 70
production code 4ACV16
airdate June 15, 2003
country United States
writer(s) Eric Kaplan
director Swinton O'Scott III
opening subtitle VOTED "BEST"!
opening cartoon Unknown
guest star(s) Roseanne Barr

Three Hundred Big Boys is episode 70 of Futurama, which aired June 15, 2003.


After a victory on Tarantulon IV, Zapp Brannigan brings back to Earth a huge stockpile of silks and other riches. Nixon decides to give everyone on Earth a $300 tax rebate in a "Tricky-Dicky Fun Bill." With the money, everyone goes off and has their own adventure. Amy comments that with $300 you could only buy about 100 cups of coffee, so Fry decides to do so, eventually having a caffeine rush that allows him to move fast enough to rescue everyone from a burning building. Leela decides to swim with Mushu, a whale at a theme park, and in the process rescues one of Kif's gifts for Amy, a watch that tells the time wherever they both are, that was accidentally swallowed by the whale. She also ends up getting her swimsuit eaten by the whale and has to watch the rest of the whale show nude, but wrapped in the sign telling not to feed the whales. Kif also rents a paddle-plane for his date with Amy. Amy, however, spends her entire rebate on a talking tatoo of Satan.

Professor Farnsworth spends his rebate on stem cells, which he uses to make himself look younger and date a sexy teen, who had used her rebate to make herself look skinny. When the stem cells wear off, the teenager reveals her secret by pulling her plug, a belly ring, and suddenly becoming fat. The two lovers decide that they still love each other, and continue making out.

Bender goes to a cigar shop looking for a high-class cigar, but ends up finding one that costs ten thousand dollars called the Grande Cigar, because it was rolled in the US Constitution by Queen Elizabeth in her "Wild Years." He cannot afford it, but instead buys some burglar's equipment and steals it. He is pursued by the police, and by the end of the episode is caught and beaten with "lightsabers."

Hermes buys his son, Dwight, a pair of "Bamboo Boogie-Boots." The shoes have bamboo poles that extend from them, lifting the wearer into the air. Dwight and Hermes get stuck on top, and in the end crash through a window, causing the fire from which everyone was saved by Fry.

Zoidberg tries to find something good to spend the rebate on, but eventually finds happiness buying turkey dogs for his friends and some hobos.

At the end, the gang is invited to a gala hosted by Nixon's head. The riches from the conquest of Tarantulon are on display, but are ruined when Hermes crashes through the window, followed by Fry rescuing everyone.

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